Power – Blog Post 11

I have spoken to a lot of people over the past 5 weeks – medical professionals, friends, my GP, support groups, helplines, the private counsellor I am still paying for.

I have had to look, really look, at the fact that my definition of abuse until 5 weeks ago, was at best blurry, and at worst, entirely incorrect. I was misinformed as a child. And as stupid as it makes me sound (and I do feel stupid, believe me) I have held that definition (relating to the time period when I was a child) in my head for 48 years.

It has helped starting to speak to other people, real professionals. But it costs me every time. I feel exhausted afterwards, my whole body aches.

There were 2 occasions when I was a child, 2 things that happened, that I now have to accept that the people who are helping me, define as sexual abuse. My feeling about these events is over-whelming humiliation. I do not feel that someone wanted to have sex with me. But I am starting to understand that sex as an ultimate goal is not necessarily what sexual abuse is about. That is a horrible realisation, in the context of what happened.

All abuse is about power.

This entry was posted in childhoodabuse, indoctrination, jehovah'switnesses and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Power – Blog Post 11

  1. StacAlpha says:

    Would you say beating a child with a cane as purnishment for offence is abusive? Based on your current understanding of abuse.


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